Enough is Enough: Domestic Violence is Not Love

Enough is Enough: Domestic Violence is Not Love:

After watching Jennifer Lopez play an abused wife in “Enough,” my high school friends and I made a pact to come forward if we ever found ourselves in a similar situation. So far, we haven’t had to make good on our promise. But unfortunately, many women aren’t so lucky.

One in four women and one in 13 men will experience domestic violence in her lifetime. And if that weren’t somber enough, an average of three women in America die as a result of domestic violence each day.

The National Domestic Violence Hotline defines domestic violence as “as a pattern of behavior in any relationship that is used to gain or maintain power and control over an intimate partner.” And abuse can come in many forms: physical, sexual, emotional, economic and psychological.

In the Black community, 29.2 percent of women and 23.3 percent of men have suffered partner violence, according to a survey by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. The same survey states 35.5 percent of women and 20.7 percent of men in households with income less than $15,000 per year have suffered violence from an intimate partner.

But domestic violence does not discriminate. It can happen to anyone of any race, gender, religion, socioeconomic status and sexual orientation. No one is safe, and young women are especially vulnerable to the devastating effects of domestic violence. A recent survey by Liz Claiborne, Inc. found 43 percent of dating college women have experienced violent and abusive dating and more than one in five reports actual physical abuse, sexual abuse or threats of physical violence.

After the tragic death of University of Virginia lacrosse player Yeardley Love last year, I wondered if I would be able to recognize the signs of abuse in one of my friend’s relationships. On May 3, 2010, Love was found unresponsive in her apartment. Her ex-boyfriend, George Huguely, was later arrested and charged with first-degree murder in Love’s death.

Remember, real love is not abusive. A loving, healthy relationship makes you feel better about yourself, not worse. It builds you up. It doesn’t break you down. If you or someone you know is being abused, please know that help is available and that you are not alone. You can call the 24-hour National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or visit the website at thehotline.org.

L’Oreal Thompson is the assistant editor for Chesapeake Home + Living magazine, a staff writer for Harford and Howard magazines and a TV blogger for bthesite.com. She is addicted to cupcakes, shoes and all things purple. Follow her on Twitter @LOrealKT.

Enough is Enough: Domestic Violence is Not Love is a post from: Heart & Soul